NO FUCK UGH “lost the pulse” “shock him! Clear!” Episode ruined


Watching medical dramas and being like fuck’s sake they need a chest tube goddammit and the characters have some revelation like oh oh I know! A chest tube! Wow miracle what a life saver thinking outside the box






found this on fb thought you guys’d like it. original link

Dealing with these patients is almost my entire job. These are the majority of the patients I get. No one is envious of my department. And colleagues frequently remind me of that.

I don’t know if I’ll ever not be surprised by these kind of things. I remember shortly after I first started, I had a woman come in for an outpatient consult regarding an injury she stated was caused by her treatment. She had some bruising where her IV had been. Before we could go over how to care for the bruise, she said she felt nauseous and was overdue for her blood pressure medication. She said if she didn’t take it then, she would be sick. She had hypertension. Since she was argumentative and said she didn’t feel well, I offered to get her a snack and drink so she could take her medicine while we talked. We were right near the coffee shop. She immediately ordered a bowl of chili and a bottle of soda. Not exactly what I meant, but I kept my mouth shut. Chili seems like one of the worst foods to eat when you’re nauseous but whatever. When she got her chili, she asked for salt. Now, I don’t eat chili, but that seemed awfully odd to me. I couldn’t tell her not to add fucking salt to her the chili she was eating in order to take her blood pressure medication. I signaled the barista to only give her one packet and she understood, but this lady loved her salt. She wanted a handful of salt packets. The barista and I just looked at each other with deer-in-headlight eyes. She gave her another packet and that seemed to be enough. She insisted on eating all of it and finishing the soda before taking her medicine and then we’d talk.

In the end, she left still not understanding that light bruising does happen when you’re a hard stick and had an IV in for a few days. (Hell, I’ve never so much as had blood drawn without bruising.) I don’t think she even understood that when the nurse said she had a minor contusion, she was talking about the bruise. She insisted she knew what a contusion was but I really don’t think she did. She mostly talked over the explanation of how to reduce swelling and going over her discharge plans.

I assume she’s either not fairing well or is already dead by now.

Oh man. This one mom. She let her 14 year old son and his friends get drunk alone while out of town. She supplied the alcohol but stayed in her hotel room (sober) and they went out on their own. They thought it’d be hilarious to play with escalators. Which is a common drunken idea for some reason. Kid ended up in the OR shortly after a nasty fall. Really nasty. Surgeries and a long recovery with physical therapy. Thanks, Mom.



Mom dictionary:

Zeer-tech - Zyrtec (might also be in reference to Claritin)

Minny-stronnie - minestrone soup (combined pronunciations)

Tor-TIL-a - tortilla (although she has no problems with “quesadilla”)

Nutello - Nutella

Xanax/Zyrtec - Zantac

Losengers - lozenge (cough drop)

To be continued. There’s dozens more that I can’t think of right now. A lot of them are because she first learned them from a relative with a different accent. It’s a wonder she doesn’t call batteries “bat trees” like my great-grandmother did. The rest are because she has a habit of adding,  subtracting, or replacing vowels.

Braveheart - Brave (as in the Disney movie)

mom dictionary personal

I’m so tired but I can’t seem to move away from the computer